Monday, November 16, 2015

Sometimes We Get More Than We Give

To say it's been a rough month or so is the biggest understatement I've made this year.

Mostly, it's things happening around me that have made life complicated and challenging, but still, the challenge is there, and I'm working on staying afloat.

Remember that whole 35% post? Remember that part when I said that my mom had been declared cancer free? Turns out...not so true anymore.  My lovely, spunky, strong mama is battling round 2 of breast cancer. It sucks.  It sucks for far too many reasons to count, but that's one "thing" happening around me. It impacts a little bit of everything, from having the take-it-for-granted kind of emergency childcare I need to planning for big future events to just that jolt in my heart whenever I remember. 

And then there was that time my daughter got kicked out of daycare. Why? Oh, she's an infant who needs to be held. A lot.  I know, how demanding, right? I'm not saying it's easy to care for an infant who isn't easily entertained, but that's sort of the gig with infant care, right? You know that you're not going to get your own stuff done when you're watching someone else's infant.  We had four glorious weeks of family in from out of state to watch my itty bitty, and now we have three marvelous people caring for her during the week.  It looks like we've nailed down full-time care starting in January, but folks? Finding infant care is NOT easy, and it definitely gave my brain power, planning ability, and all the other things I need to do, a big hit.

Which means, I've been a taker, not a giver. I'm taking the offers from friends to come out of the woodwork and watch my baby girl. I'm taking offers of loaner carseat bases. I'm taking offers of dog sitting over the holidays because we left that one small detail too late in the game to get our usual sitters.

I'm taking hugs.

I'm taking comfort.

I'm taking playdates.

I'm taking the offer from a friend to make a diaper cake because I ran up against a deadline I thought I could manage, and I couldn't.

I'm accepting that this is a time in my life when I need to say, "Yes, please," to offers of kindness. I'll reach a point (eventually), when I can make those offers myself.

For everything there is a season...

It's awkward and uncomfortable for me to need so much help.

But it's beautiful to have those around me who can offer that help.

All the feels. All of them.  

But seriously, thank you. I've never in my life needed so much at one time, and I will remember the kindness and the favors and the hugs.  


  1. Bless your heart... I can just feel the anguish that life is throwing at you right now.
    I'm so sorry to hear that about your mom. Man, I hate cancer so much....

    1. Thank you. Cancer is a beast, but my mom is a bear, and she is fighting, fighting, fighting.

  2. Firstly, let me say how sorry I am to hear about your mom's diagnosis. I hope she has a full recovery.
    It's times like these when your community is most important. Accept every bit of help that's offered to you. It gives people a sense of peace that they're able to offer you something. Take it! God put us in communities so we don't have do this thing alone.
    I will pray for you and your family, including Itty Bitty, who I'm sure just wants to be with mommy all day long. 😀

    1. Oh, yes, Itty Bitty's life goal would be to stay with Mama all day long...and also to get ALL OF THE THINGS in her mouth :).

  3. Oh wow. You have had so much going on! I hate that you're mom is having to go through all of this again! I will definitely be praying for a full recovery. And I'm so glad to hear that you have such a strong network of friends and family who have your back!!

    1. Thank you - the diagnosis was certainly not something we wanted to hear, but she is strong, and so are we...on we fight.

  4. Im sorry for your mother ,hope everything will be go better over there.
    Sometimes life is so hard :(

  5. Oh girl, so sorry about your mom and daycare (I have a child like that!)
    And I know that sometimes when we are weak, it is such a blessing to see others come in and bless us! I will be praying for you and your mom!

  6. I am so sorry to hear about your mom :( Cancer sucks!!!! Sending healing and comforting prayers to her and you as well.

    Asking for help is so hard for me too but isn't amazing once you do the amount that comes pour to you! So blessed!!

    I don't even understand an infant being kicked out of child care-I really can't even comprehend that. I don't know the childcare provider but I would shut them down...who does that!? Infant care is so hard to come by. I am glad you have something in the works.


  7. I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Cancer is such a difficult thing, and it breaks my heart any time I hear of someone having to go through it.
    My cousin had a baby with a similar situation and I guess they charge even more for infants, and then when hers was a little more "needy" they wanted even more $, so she looked at it and in her situation she was nearly working just to pay for daycare and not bringing home much extra after that so she quit and became a stay at home mom, and now she loves it. But because I know her situation, I can sympathize because I know daycare is seriously expensive and it's just hard. But sounds like you have an amazing support system.
    Sometimes we are givers, and other times we need to be takers so someone else can have the opportunity to give:) Its a beautiful system, that one!


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