Navigating A New Age

It feels like just yesterday, I began to first see the signs of a teenager in my oldest, and now, here we are, fresh off of touring the high school he will attend next year.  Each time I tuck him in at night (because yes, of course, I still tuck him in), I see the baby lashes on his cheeks and can still smell that milk newborn he once was.

And, in a lot of ways, this drives him crazy. 

I'm new to parenting a teenager. There is a sudden and steep learning curve.

He's a teenager who still talks to his mom, and I know that is priceless, but I also know that I have to recognize that he's growing up. Quickly. He will always need me, but in new ways. He needs gentle reminders about homework, not someone by his side going through each (complicated) math problem. He needs me to see him at the age he is, not as the baby he was.  

That means I'm the one who has growing up to do. 

I've parented little kids now, with no break, for over thirteen years.  But he's NOT a little kid anymore. He's still magical, and, for this mama, he always will be. That magic has shifted into something different. Now, it's a magic where he more vocally protects his siblings. It's a magic where he engages in deep conversations about complicated topics. It's a magic where he advocates respectfully for his own needs.  

He's maturing right before my eyes, and it's time for me to do the same.  

On the fly, I've needed to learn how to navigate teenage crushes, pimple patches, and cologne.  Grades matter more than they used to, as they will influence what classes he takes in high school. 

When he was an infant, everything we did pointed towards healthy development. We read to him, we made regular medical appointments, we introduced healthy food. Our energy went into keeping him safe in the obstacle course that was our living room.  Keeping healthy food on the menu in place of far too many granola bars certainly still matters, but each day feels closer to college application season and career choices.  

Everything simply matters SO MUCH.  

But, ultimately, he is the one responsible for his choices. He has to do the homework, write the essays, and study for the tests.  

While I know, as a daughter who still very much needs her parents, my son will always need me, but his changing needs must change me, too.

And I'm embracing this change in myself and in our relationship.