Wednesday, May 6, 2015

I'm Pretty Sure We're Already Screwing Up

The second baby is due to arrive any day now, and we’re already screwing things up. She’s not even born yet, and I find that I’m already emotionally over the ways we’re going to mess up. Parenting is messy, and that’s okay.  

So, eight ways we are already screwing up as second time parents.

  1. Instead of being sleep camels, storing up for the newborn phase, we are staying up late to watch movies. We should know better. But we don’t. Who knows when we’ll get to watch X-Men once the baby comes, right?  

  1. We let the three-year-old sleep in bed with us when he crawls in and snuggles at 3:30.  How’s that going to work when I’m nursing? Apparently, that’s a problem for future me.

  1. We haven’t put the carseat in the car yet. She’s due like now, people.

  1. The guest bed is staying in the nursery.  Yeah, the second kid doesn’t have her own room.  But the first kid totally does.  

  1. In the three years since the first tiny humans, our careers have advanced rapidly, which means longer hours.  Both kids are going to know their daycare providers and preschool teachers really, really well.

  1. We are far more worried about making sure the oldest adjusts well (a reasonable concern given that he has suggested cleaning his baby sister’s ears out with a toothpick when she arrives because, and I quote, “She’s a person.”) than about making sure the youngest will be able to sleep in a quiet house.

  1. We have not discouraged the herd of elephants level of noise the boy makes when he gets up in the morning and runs to find his toys. This second one better not be a light sleeper.

  1. The first child is not reliable potty trained. Not at all. Nope. He only likes to go on the potty because he gets candy. He cannot be trusted without a diaper. We are going to be buried under a mountain of diapers soon. Someone please come rescue me, and bring me some Starbucks while you’re at it.

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