My Body, This Body, Her Body

This week, I am participating in Beyond The Clothing's Blog Link-Up, #mybodythisbody

To My Newborn Daughter,

I know that you're very much your own person. Even at three-and-a-half weeks old, it's clear you have your own wants, needs, passions, and that you are not your brother.  What you are, though, is the spitting image of me.

I'll be honest,brave girl, I never expected to have a mini me.  You see, the genes are strong with your father's side of the family.  Your brother is the living, breathing duplicate of your daddy, and I expected you to be the same (well, more like the living, breathing duplicate of your G.G., since she's the female version of your daddy).  But, here you are, looking just like me.

I'm gonna have to pull it together.

I've always had a love/hate relationship with myself - with my personality, with my face, with my body, with all of it.  And, for you, I need to turn that entirely into a love relationship.

All of the role model women in my family have, at times, openly hated their looks, and that needs to end with me.  I know there will come a time when you feel awkward or when you wonder why all the other girls seem so much more comfortable in their own skin, but I refuse to let you learn that from me.

Oh, wise child, I was going to apologize for the awkward years that I know are coming. Perhaps they will be bean-polish like mine, or curvy too early like Mimi's, but whatever they are, they will be beautiful.

Other women have written about not telling their daughters they are beautiful, because beauty is prized too highly. Oh, my sweet, you will be brilliant, but you can also shine.  There is nothing wrong with beauty, as long as there is balance in its praise. Not only are you beautiful, you are beauty itself.

Song of my heart, you kicked your entire way into this world. You rolled onto your side at five days old; you are STRONG.  Never forget that your body is a gift. God blessed me with the chance to have you grow inside of me. I felt your kicks (those round house kicks that made me even more ready to meet you).  I paused for your hiccups.  I cared for my body in new ways - keeping up with good food, vitamins, and exercise, so that you would grow. 

I crave that you will use your strength, that you will use your body to run uphill, against the wind, or your breath to play the trumpet while you march.  Whatever you choose, I want you to know that your body is a powerful thing.

My body has changed over time, as yours will as well, but my body changed because of you. I love it more now because it held you and your brother.  I am proud of what my body has done. I am comfortable in my own skin, and I pray that you never see me any differently. I pray that you learn to love yourself right from the start.

I love you. I love all of you. I love my body for having made you.

Love,

Mommy